How to Annoy People at the Cinema: Naruto Style!
by Musical cake
Summary: I saw 'How to annoy people at the cinema' on various other authors' profiles. I thought it was funny and decided it would be funny to parody it with Naruto. Chapter one up soon!
1. Table of Contents

I found "Ways to Annoy people at the cinema" on various author's profiles. I came up with the idea to Naruto-fy it.

I do not own Naruto or "Ways to Annoy people at the cinema"

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**Ways to Annoy People at the Cinema: Naruto Style!:**

1) Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing! Everybody pray for Haku's soul!"

2) Go, "Oooooh… This isn't as good as when Naruto and Sasuke kissed" whenever anyone kisses.

3) Clap when the good guy gets killed.

4) During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it? Ultimate fast-forward no jutsu!"

5) Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"

6) Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.

7) Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding and that Kisame is playing in the water.

8) Yell out what is going to happen.

9) Wear a cloak and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm in the Akatsuki! Hahaha!" and run away.

10) Say that they cannot sit next to you because Pein-sama already is.

11) Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

12) Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with food pills. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can get any in peoples' mouths.

13) Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.

14) Use a light jutsu. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.

15) Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.

16) Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming, "Noooooooo! It's the Sound Ninja Five!"

17) Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...)

18) Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.

19) Try to start a wave. If it fails, create a real wave using a jutsu.

20) Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.

21) Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.

22) Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"

23) Sing with the theme music. Especially Orochimaru's theme.

24) Bring and use your own air freshener. Way better than the smell of sweaty ninja.

25) At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."

26) Throw touch-sensitive explosive tags at the screen. Stick them on the upper part of the screen so they blow when people try to scrape them off.

27) Pass around a collection plate towards Tsunade's sake fund and see if anyone contributes.

28) Use a harmless laser jutsu on the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.

29) Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read! I must study to pass my ninja exams!"

30) Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie. Say that its towards your 'research'.

31) Use a flashlight jutsu. Point it at the screen.

32) Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late. "Congratulations, you're later than Kakashi-sensei.

33) When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"

34) Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.

35) Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here? And don't lie, I have contacts in the ANBU."

36) Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.

37) Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.

38) Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat"

39) Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.

40) Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.

41) Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themselves.

42) Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.

43) Before the movie begins, tape fart cushions to various chairs in the theater room.

44) Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.

45) Bring a water gun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH! Water Style: Water gun blast!"

46) Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE! EVEN KAKASHI WOULD'VE SHOWN UP EARLIER!"

47) Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"

48) Pull a loud Hayate Gekko right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can hear it, like when the killer's name is going to be said.

49) Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.

50) Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.

51) Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes.

52) Pass by a room that's showing a movie you've already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the end.


	2. Chapter 1

Hello wonderful readers! I know I originally intended to use this a one shot but it has been brought to my attention by a wonderful guest and MrGoodyTwoShoes that I may be reported for just having a list, not a story. I thank you, whoever you are.

In light of this, I have decided to play it safe and create little happenings of this and put them up as well. These chapters will contain four bullets on the list each. This could make or break the story but I hope it's still funny. It will contain my OC Kaila. The characters will be very OOC. But hey, that's what a fanfiction is for, right.

I do not own Naruto or "Ways to Annoy people at the cinema" I also do not own this idea. I also do not own Iron Man 2.

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1) Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing! Everybody pray for Haku's soul!"

Kaila walked down the Konoha streets on a mission. Not a real mission, but a mission nonetheless. She was joined by Naruto, the same young boy who gave her this dare.

_Flashback_

Kaila and Naruto were sitting at Ichraku's eating ramen (Duh…) and laughing.

"Hey Kaila, do mrou wramma pwray twrudth owr dawre?" Naruto asked suddenly, with a mouthful of ramen.

"Mmm? What, Naruto? I thought I told you not to talk with your mouth full?" Kaila reprimanded, even though knowing Naruto for so long left her able to understand him even with his mouth full.

He swallowed quickly and almost choked. "Gomen. I asked if you wanna play truth or dare" He replied.

Kaila finished her second bowl of ramen. "Sure. I guess." She responded.

"Yeah!" He put his fist in the air. Then he finished his seventh bowl of ramen. "Now Kiba will owe me five bucks! Believe it!"

Kaila coughed. "You made a bet with Kiba to play truth or dare with me?" She asked.

"Yep. Pretty much." Naruto replied.

"Whatever. Truth or dare?" She asked.

"Truth… Hey I asked you to play so I get to go first!"

"Whatever. Do you like Hinata? You have to answer." She retorted.

Naruto blushed to a very dark shade of red. "Y-Yes…" He mumbled. The Ichiraku ramen guy chuckled.

"Now its your turn. Believe it!" Naruto shouted. "Truth or dare?"

Kaila smirked, "Dare"

"Hmm." Naruto thought for a minute. "I've got it! You have to go to the cinema and throw popcorn in the air and pray for Haku's soul. Believe it!"

_End flashback_

Kaila and Naruto entered the cinema and bought a large sized popcorn. Kaila headed to one of the rooms that were not showing the movie yet, just the previews, but was still full of people and walked to the middle of the room.

She looked back at Naruto and he waved her on, holding a video camera. She threw her popcorn in the air and took a deep breath.

"It's snowing! Everybody pray for Haku's soul!" Most of the people looked at her funny, except of Chouji, who grabbed at the falling popcorn like a kid in a candy shop.

"Kami-sama, please bless Haku's soul. Let him into the good place, for he is one of the most deserving people. Kami-sama, the only other thing I ask of you is that when he gets there, please tell him he was actually a girl." Kaila shouted.

The people in the cinema started throwing popcorn at her as she beat a hasty retreat. Chouji jumped up and tried to catch as much popcorn as possible.

2) Go, "Oooooh… This isn't as good as when Naruto and Sasuke kissed" whenever anyone kisses.

Kaila decided to go see a movie on one of her spare days that she wasn't training or had a mission.

As she walked towards the cinema, she saw a large group of fangirls heading in to see one of the romantic features. Remembering a certain day in the Academy, she decided to mess with the girls instead of going to see the zombie horror film she was planning on going to.

All the girls headed into the middle seats of the room. Kaila took a seat a couple rows behind the fangirls, incase one of them decided she needed a punch in the face. She didn't need a punch in the face. The movie started.

_Ungh, this is one of those really gross ones with the stereotypical breakup and recovery story. _Kaila shuddered. _Oh well, at least there will be a lot of kissing._ She smirked. The few people who were sitting by her moved farther away.

"Ooh… This isn't as good as the time Naruto and Sas-Gay kissed." She said when the so-called happy couple in the movie kissed. She could practically see the irk-marks on the backs of a lot of the girls heads. But, they put it behind them.

To their disappointment, Kaila didn't stop at the first, second, or even third comment. She said, "Ooh… This isn't as good as the time Naruto and Sas-Gay kissed" or "This still isn't as good as Naruto's and Sas-Gay's kiss." Every time a couple kissed. Kaila had lost count around twenty-seven.

Kaila was enjoying herself twice she wondered if she was pushing it a little too far, but both times she pushed the thought away. She smirked again, after that last comment she could tell even Hinata was getting peeved. She was surprised that Sakura or Ino weren't in her face.

Finally, after one more comment about halfway through the movie, one of the girls finally stood up. She had huge pigtails on either side of her head. "Could you _please _keep it down, we are trying to watch the movie!" She yelled. Kaila smirked her job was done.

"What are you smirking at?" Pigtails asked. Kaila couldn't resist, the other girls were standing and joining Pigtails. Kaila took one looked at the screen and gestured at it and said, "How do you even watch this stuff? It looks like two seals fighting over a grape." She took that line from one of her favorite movies. "Naruto and Sasuke's kiss was way better that that."

"What did you say bitch!" Ino yelled.

A manager walked in, "I'm going to have to ask you ladies to leave the theater." He looked pointedly at the fangirls.

"What about her," Asked Sakura, gesturing at Kaila. "She started it!"

The manager smiled at her. "I didn't get any complaints about her, only you." Kaila saw this as her opportunity to remove the figurative keystone.*

"Please, sir." Kaila spoke up. "I was just sitting here trying to enjoy the movie, when they started yelling at me." She put on her best innocent expression.

"You Bitch! Ino shouted and stalked out of the cinema, the rest of the girls following behind.

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience miss, please accept this coupon for twenty percent off your next visit." He handed her a slip of paper.

Kaila smiled graciously and accepted the paper. There was nothing better than gaining things at someone else's expense. She then slept through the rest of the movie.

3) Clap when the good guy gets killed.

Kaila decided to use her discount at the cinema on her next free day. She finally went to see her horror movie.

She entered the cinema and wasn't surprised to see many teenage boys with their girlfriends hanging on their arms, just get a chance to get really close to them. It was your typical zombie apocalypse movie, but the zombies were smarter that usual, and it was hard to find them.

Kaila sat in her seat and sighed contentedly, this was what she came to see, you could never go wrong with zombies.

Her first impression of the protagonist was that he was your typical movie hero, handsome, smart, suave. But as the movie played on, Kaila realized that he was a jerk with stick too far up his butte.**

All through the first 117 minutes of the movie, Kaila was biting her tongue to avoid saying anything. This guy was really ticking her off. Then, in the last twenty minutes of the movie, the good guy was struck down by the zombies and was killed before he could become a zombie.

Kaila immediately started a standing ovation to celebrate the death of the protagonist. Only two or three other people stood up with her. She started cheering and high-fived the others who stood. She made an impressive attempt to get the people who were glaring at her to stand up and join, causing everyone to miss the end of the movie. Needless to say, people were not happy.

4) During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it? Ultimate fast-forward no jutsu!"

Kaila was taking Konohamaru, Udon, and Moegi to the movies when they all had a day off. Kaila had things to do that afternoon, but her soft spot for the children who looked up to her best friend persuaded her to take them to the cinema.

They walked into the room that was showing their movie. The previews were rolling. They sat down in the middle-to-front area. The previews rolled for another ten minutes. The Konohamaru Ninja Squad knew their friend's patience level. They also knew that her antics were part of the reason that she and Naruto got along so well.

Kaila had watched enough previews for the day. She stood up. The children got comfortable and in typical Naruto's apprentice style, Konohamaru got out a video camera.

"Could somebody please fast-forward the previews, I have places to be when this is over." Kaila asked. "Ultimate fast-forward no jutsu!" She did some hand signs and The picture on the screen wavered, then went back to the way it was before. Kaila repeated the action a few times before shouting again. "Could someone please fast-forward it?"

When all she received was angry glares and peeved looks, she sighed. "I guess I have to do _everything_ around here." She made the hand signs again, then repeated them. "Ultimate fast-forward no jutsu times two no jutsu!" The image on the screen rippled again, then the lights dimmed. The movie started.

"Yay! Did you see that guys? I actually did it! It worked!" Kaila did a happy dance around. The Konohamaru Ninja Squad rolled their eyes and let her dance.

"Hey you! Sit down! We're trying to watch this!" An angry viewer shouted from the back. A chorus of agreement sounded around him. Kaila huffed and sat down. "Spoilsports" She grumbled.

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* A keystone is used to support an arch. The arch cannot stay up without the keystone.

** I didn't want to use butt.

And that's the end of chapter 1! I worked day and night on this so I could get this out to you all. Once again, thanks to the guest and MrGoodyTwoShoes.


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